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Strangers With Candy
My weekend started by me taking myself out on a date to the movies to see the cult show turned movie, Strangers With Candy. The show starred Amy Sedaris(who I am in love with), Steven Colbert(one of the funniest men on tv), Paul Dinello(I’ve seen that press a million times, Chuck), and Greg Holliman(the best principal a school could have). I started watching the show in 1999 when I became a Comedy Central junkie. They’ve had some great shows that I still love, Strip Mall, Upright Citizens Brigade, Reno 911!, and first and foremost, South Park. Nothing will ever touch South Park. I started watching Strangers With Candy by accident. Now it’s a toss up between SWC and South Park. I thought Jerri Blank was a disgusting character that I became drawn too almost immediately. Her antics of doing drugs, being promiscuous, and an all around wanna be thug, was very attractive to me in a strange way. I watched religiously from week to week including reruns and even using my VCR at times to catch the episodes I would miss if something had come up. The show always featured some disturbing scenario spoofed off of an ever famous after school special I was pelted and brainwashed with as a kid in the early 80’s. Well, I must say…the writers(Dinello,Sedaris,Colbert) are absolute geniuses. Sadly and surprisingly, the show was canceled and taken off the air in 2001. I was shocked. Just as it was getting good, too. Winona Ryder was just on it! God, what a knockout she was in the episode. But, Amy has been the imaginary source of my pretend affection as of late. After seeing what she really looks like…oh lord…she has crashed into my top 20 of women I love. The movie starts off going to the beginning of Jerri’s life as a 47 year old freshman. Her dad is in a self induced coma since she left home 32 years earlier, and Jerri discovers that her house has been taken over by a new family that already openly expresses hatred for her. Jerri doesn’t help the situation, obviously. But, nonetheless, she wants to help her dad and get him out of this coma by picking up where she left off in 1974. She tries to be accepted immediately in school, but like the show, she is always met with hatred and disgust from her peers. She stabs her brother with a fork, calls Mr. Knoblet(Colbert) a faggot and ultimately gives into peer pressure all for the sake of a Science Fair project that is full of deceit and lies to begin with. I can’t tell you the whole movie but I will say this. (This is my first movie review by the way.) I give the movie a ‘thumbs up’ if you are a cult fan of the show. I wouldn’t see the movie if you never saw the show. It would make no sense to you. As a matter of fact, at the end of the movie, I turned to the young guys behind me and said, “ehhhh it was good, but not as good as the show…” One of them looked at me and said, “There was a TV show about this? Where?” He was dead serious. Shocking. I really am a toolbag. Here are some pros and cons to the movie:
PROS
1) Amy was timeless as ever. Not to mention, she plays a very small and brief role as a bartender during the Science Fair meeting. THIS WOMAN IS HOT. Sedaris totally plays down her beauty…she is a fox. Cute face, dark skin, god this woman makes my day. I want her to have my babies. They are out in the car if she’s interested. Just look at her picture. Why can’t I meet a chick this cool?
2) They made a movie off of a cult favorite sitcom the Comedy Central people felt no one watched. God bless America
3) Steven Colbert and Paul Dinello are the greatest “Not making it too obvious they are in a gay relationship with one another” characters.
4) Cameo appearances from Matthew Broderick, Sarah Jessica Parker, Sir Ian Holm, Allison Janney, Philip Seymour Hoffman, Kristen Johnston, and Dan Hedaya.
5) Principal Onyx (Friggin Onyx lol) Blackman(Holliman) is a genius. Probably my favorite in the show. He is completely out of control. God bless him.
6) It was nice to see Cherri the Gym teacher in the movie. She is VERY funny when given more time. (The baby and the fake marriage episode from the show are unforgettable)
7) Jerri’s pot freak out scene alone is worth seeing this movie.
8) Maria Thayer(Tammi Littlenut) was perfect in this movie. She hasn’t changed at all with the transfer from TV to big screen
CONS
1) The story line was a little shady on her father in the show. First of all, it wasn’t the original father that I believed may have passed away during the taping of the show. He was always frozen in every scene. But here in the movie, played by Hedaya(Mr. Tortelli, remember that show?), He is in a coma, only to come out and be normal. Why wasn’t the guy that played the father on the show normal? Why was he always frozen in scene? Did something happen in between the movie and the first show? (Only a dork would ponder these things)
2) Why wasn’t the same actor used in Jerri’s brother Derrick? He was great. And meaner too. No knock to Joseph Cross. He was a good actor, but he wasn’t the original dickish Derrick.
3) Where the heck was Orlando? Orlando was in like every episode of SWC. Did he not go to Flatpoint then??
4) Deborah Rush(Jerri’s mom) was subdued in this movie. She is so evil in the show it’s timeless. She seemed toned down a bit in this however.
5) David Pasquesi(Stew, Jerri’s stepmom’s boyfriend…oh wait I mean…her meat man.) He was great in the show as well, but seemed a bit different in this movie. Like he was still Stew, but he seemed more serious in this movie. Can’t have any of that.
6) Was there any reason to have Kristen Johnston in the movie?

All in all, I loved the movie and made Amy Sedaris my new desktop image. Watch this woman be interviewed. She is adorable. *Sigh*

Ooooh babe, Don’t Leave Me Now
I made it home about midnight from the movies to find a dilemma was going on out back of my apartment. I walked in to see my cat Opus staring out through the venetian blinds. “But I love you…you can’t do this to me!” someone screamed. I peaked out to my porch, and then opened the sliding door. The hum of the neighbors’ air conditioner and the smell of humidity permeated the surrounding air. I tried not to make it obvious I was watching. I walked out and lit a cigarette. Then, out of nowhere, the girl driving decides to take off while her, I am assuming ex boyfriend at the present, is being dragged while holding on to the drivers side window. He’s a big guy…crying to her and telling her he loves her. Normally I wouldn’t care. But I am drawn in….I am seeing this happen to someone else. “Why are you doing this to me? How long were you cheating on me?!?!? Please Ellie, I love you…” I hear him yelling this yet at times he was muffled as his head would go in the driver’s side window. His desperation was eating at me…I knew exactly how this dude felt. I almost wanted to go downstairs and help this guy. How CAN you do this? I don’t even know you girl, how CAN you do this to this guy? Then I stopped myself. Who am I to make an assessment of something I know nothing about? Then I hear him on his phone.. "4 years down the drain…I can’t believe this…she was cheating on me for a while…I can’t believe this…” I wanted so bad to reach out to this dude and say what was said to me last year…”You’ll be ok, trust me, you will be ok.” But I said nothing. I watched as he slouched his shoulders and somberly walked up the street sobbing. My hairs stood up. Maybe I was supposed to see that tonight. Just walk on. I was quiet the rest of the night.
Looking For Mr. Carranza
Saturday morning I got up early for once(9am) and decided to visit the Carranza Memorial in Tabernacle where the famed Mexican Aviator was to have a ceremony where he perished 70 some years ago. They do it every year, and this time, I wanted to attend. I wanted to call my buddy Ben of the Pine Barrens website but figured with his new baby, he has more than enough stuff to do, and even Jack, but he was still recuperating from his snapped back. I’ll do it alone. My morning started out great. Doors off, cap on, deposited much needed money, and was off to take Tuckerton Stage through the pines. Only one problem. Once I hit the dirt road, a property owner smiling waved me down…I don’t know if he was waving at me, or the neighbor, so I kept rolling. Then not even a football field away, I had to stop and turn around. A hole about the width of the road kept me from going. I stopped and did the stick test, and the stick vanished. Good thing I didn’t go through. I turned around and headed back to find the same guy there. “Yeah, the road is all messed up, you won’t make it through.” Thanks bud. I turned and made my way down Carranza. I arrived to find two Piper planes soaring about the Carranza area flying about 1500 feet up. Maybe even lower. It was surreal. I parked on Carranza and walked up to find about 75 cars parked in and around the memorial. I was just in time. Once I arrived, there were VFW people, a decent amount of Latins, State Police, video people, cameramen, kids, ROTC members, and reporters. One in particular was BCT writer Jason Bodnar who interviewed us last September for the radio show. He and I talked for about a half hour. Jason is a great guy, and still tunes in to the show. He is getting ready to go back to school to be a history teacher. The ceremony began with some keynote speakers which was great. Not unmercifully hot, but manageable. There were historical pictures about, pieces of debris saved and other iconic things of that fateful July evening 78 years ago. The ceremony wound up ending an hour after it started with both our national anthem, and Mexico’s. But then something I never expected. After some story telling of Emilio Carranza by some family members, the key note speaker said “And to conclude this day’s services, we will now reenact the death of Emilio Carranza.” Applause followed. Did I hear right? What? What are you going to do? Crash a plane? You have to be kidding me. There was a pause, and then 9 men are carrying a stretcher out of the woods with a pretend dead guy on it. Still clutching his flashlight. Was this part needed? I mean, look…I understand what happened and all…but this is like….in bad taste. Isn’t it painful enough that he died in the middle of nowhere just a few minutes after he took off in 1928? It weirded me out and a few others. I walked back to my Jeep scratching my head. If I was in charge of the ceremony, let’s stick to the same program except "ixnay on the eenactmentray". That was just plain bizarre. MET WITH APPLAUSE! Sweet moses.
Yer Just SIC
It would be tough to match last Saturday’s show. Response was great for the first show of the second half of the year. This one would have to be just as good. I had some real heavyweights too. For starters, I got the privilege of officially world premiering the forthcoming album from Norway’s White Willow, titled Signal To Noise. This album is spine tingling. The new singer Trude Eidtang was the perfect replacement for former vocalist Sylvia Erichsen. Trude is a cleaner sounding Sylvia. A better Sylvia. Not taking anything away from Sylvia, but Trude is more White Willow. They sound alike, but Trude is what White Willow needed all along. The new album is phenomenal. We featured the cuts Ghosts which is classic White Willow at its best, and the misty eyed, haunting track, Splinters. What an excellent follow up to Storm Season. We then tracked music from the import only CD from John McLaughlin CD Industrial Zen. What a killer this is. John shows no age on this recording, or laurel resting for that matter! He is on as ever throughout the album with help of some great friends. Gary Husband, Dennis Chambers, Zakir Hussain, Eric Johnson, and many others. Cream of the crop on this record, and don’t expect a monotone jazz release. This smokes from beginning to end. We also featured the latest from guitarist Alex Machacek and his SIC CD. Terry Bozzio is back on board for this album and still plays his drums as acoustic to the music he can get. Excellent job. He has some newcomers on this album as well. Don’t expect Featuring Ourselves, this is a totally different album. A must get for 2006 if you are a guitar fan. I put my Metal helmet on for the featuring of Greek band Wastefall and the Self Exile CD. This new Sensory release spotlights a band that is doing the best music Pain Of Salvation didn’t do. Self Exile is the new melodic progressive metal sound to this DJ’s ears. I got the same feeling listenening to these guys I got when I first heard POS’s Entropia. God bless the Innovator. We featured Harry Miller’s Isipingo, and the CD Which Way Now. The press sheet was right. This wonderful archive from Radio Bremen 1975 makes you feel like you are really there. The only unfortunate thing is that Isipingo had only one album. This does a lot to expand, and if you are a fan of the Brotherhood of Breath, jump on this CD. What an excellent collectable. More labels should do what Cuneiform does. There are tons of gems out there waiting to be found and released. We rolled back to April of this year with our interview with Drummer/Composer/Percussionist Gregg Bendian. Vishnufest takes place this weekend and will be a hoot. They will be covering the music of Jan Hammer, Visions Of The Emerald Beyond and as usual, a smorgasboard of Mahavishnu Music. How proud does that make me? I will need surgery to remove the smile. Hopefully I can make it. At the end of the program, the automation of Z889 after hours began. But right before, there was one song to be played. Talking Heads Once In A Lifetime. This song hits me in a weird way. I walked out of the station with it blasting in my head with the biggest smirk I ever had leaving the station. Same as it ever was.
Inca Roads
Jack's back was finally on the up and up. That meant goin' off road. I made it to Jack's by 1:30 to christen his new Jeep in the Pine Barrens of New Jersey. I actually had a decent amount of gas in my Jeep and was beyond pumped. As I pulled up the driveway, I could see that was still pretty stiff in how he walked. He really did damage to his back, but as he stated, it was better than most days. So at this point, I figured well, we won't be out long. He'll never last. Jack then decided we should leave my Jeep home, and take out his...with me driving! YEAH BOYEEE! It wasn't really want I wanted, only because I want him to get a feel of what it's like in the woods. And when I say woods, I'm not talkin Apple Pie Hill...I'm talking about deep deep driving like I did when I first explored.



Did a vehicle
Come from somewhere out there
Just to land in the Andes?
Was it round
And did it have
A motor
Or was it
Something Different

Jack getting into the Jeep was like watching a corpse with riga mortis being put in the front seat flat like a board. Like two stoners, yet completly sober, we drove in a compete circle discussing Wawa's and getting gas. We finally accomplished both. We first ventured towards Ong's Hat which Jack lives extremely close too. We didn't search for tantric eggs however. Our search took us to Apple Pie Hill. Jack had never been there. This is like the most well known spot in the pines. Jack's Jeep drove like a dream. We hit the dirt road and frequently had to warn Jack about upcoming bumps. We made it to the top of the hill.

Did a vehicle
Did a vehicle
Did a vehicle
Fly along the mountains
And find a place to park itself
Or did someone
Build a place
To leave a space
For such a vehicle to land
Did a vehicle
Come from somewhere out there
Did a vehicle
Come from somewhere out there
Did the indians, first on the bill
Carve up the hill

We took some shots of Apple Pie Hill and Jack was loving it. We left Apple Pie hill and headed down Friendship-Speedwell road. We came out to the one time Speedwell Furnace, and headed towards one of my favorite places. The first place we came to was the Harrisville Paper Mill. Jack loved it. Never saw anything like it. All that remains are walls from the one time side of the factory that are standing with barely any support. The mill opened in the early 19th century and ran out of gas by the time the 1870's arrived. At the turn of the century, the mill would burn down. Surprisingly, the town layout is still there yet barren and vacant. Beautiful place. After removing ticks and chiggers, Jack realized maybe he should have worn long pants. We then departed for my favorite place in the pines, Martha Furnace. This town just seemed doomed from the get go. Remote location, even by the colonial standards, difficult setup, etc. This town was hit with diseases that nearly wiped it out, yet, this is one of the most documented of the furnace towns. This town had already ceased operations by the 1840's. One of the first to do so of this scale in the Jersey pines. I always have loved this place. It just feels sad for some reason. The 'great unfinished' is what always comes to mind. We left there and headed for food. We looked at the Green Bank Inn, but Jack talked me into Dempster's in Mount Holly, NJ. They moved from what we used to call 'Dumpster's' to an actual nice design. Food was great, too. I had the Butch's Pulled Pork sandwhich which brought me back to the day's when Butch's was in operation in Pemberton off of 530. Unfortunately, he went into a catering business. He does well though. Despite not being around everyday like he used too, anytime I see Butch's pork being offered at a local place, I jump on it. Taste of the old days. The day flew by. We left the bar and headed towards my old employer in The New Golden Moon. Well, it's not called that anymore, it's now called the G Spot. The go-go bar is now a Cigar bar. Which more or less means, you can smoke in there. Thank god. Jack and I hung out for a few hours and talked with Al the owner. The lack of enthusiasm by their employees was apalling. Jack and I left for the Monmouth Turnpike and missed several turns into Pemberton. With reckless abandon, we passed through the gates of the Military base, invaded the compound, and found the tantric eggs...oh wait. Sorry, that didn't happen. We got back to the Village of The Sun, the Turkey farm, and put Jack's Jeep back together. I could do this every weekend. It was a toasty ride home. I thought about fixing my Jeep and getting her back to the way it was when I got her. She's still in good shape and rides well. We'll see how things go financially. Lots of things have to be done, but I will tell you this. There is nothing in the world like being a Jeep owner. Nothing. Nothing like taking those doors off on a muggy night, grabbing a few CD's, and heading into the woods, or going down the shore. Nothing like it in the world. My Jeep is freedom. I am glad Jack caved in and got one. He has the bug now.

This Program Ran 4 Hours exactly.